Warning! This will likely be your children’s least favorite blog posts ever, but it could be very important to you.
With the Christmas “season” approaching, my wife and I, like we do every year, began talking about what we would give our children as Christmas gifts. I am thankful my wife spends the extra time searching for the best deals. She seems to know what is happening on black Friday, cyber Monday or any other special day. I made the mistake of going out with her on black Friday this year (of course the madness really starts on Thursday nights now). It was even crazier than I imagined. If you watch our culture today and observe what is happening, it is really pretty scary. Many in my generation complain about the “entitlement” of our children and yet what do we do this time of year? We over-indulge and spend way more money than we should on way more “stuff” than we should.
Several years ago, my wife and I made a decision to go against the culture when it comes to Christmas gift giving. We decided that we would only give our children three gifts. Yes, they still receive gifts from grandparents and other family members, but from mom and dad, it would be limited to three. My reasoning was simple … Jesus only received three gifts and we are celebrating His birthday, so why do my kids need more than Him? It really was that simple to me. Before you start calling me the Grinch that stole Christmas, you need to understand that I do love this time of year. I love the music, the lights, the decorations and even the spirit of giving. As with every other area of life we need to find a balance.
I recently ran across an article that backed up our gift-giving approach from a totally different perspective … a psychological perspective. Recent studies have shown that after opening three gifts (yes, they came up with the same number for a different reason), children become more enthralled in opening the present then what’s actually inside. Over-indulging in gifts is not only poor stewardship, the study revealed that your kids likely will not even remember much of what they receive beyond the third gift.
One of my all-time favorite books is Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Habit #1 is “Be Proactive.” In this context being proactive is thinking through all the ramifications of gift giving and YOU deciding what you are going to do rather than reacting to what advertisers, marketing experts and the neighbors down the street are doing. Have a plan for what gifts you will give. Maybe you have heard the strategy … something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. Here is an alternative with three gifts. G is for gold and stands for garment, or something to wear. F is for frankincense and stands for something fun. M is for myrrh and stands for something for the mind, or something to learn from such as a book. We do not follow that exact formula, but we do our best to have a plan, to be proactive. (Full disclosure … we actually give four gifts total. Since our oldest child was an infant, we have a tradition of opening Christmas pajamas on Christmas Eve that each of the kids wear to bed. The three gifts are all opened Christmas morning.)
Will only giving three gifts to your children at Christmas all of a sudden make Christmas all about the birth of our Savior? No, but it will help to slow the materialism and entitlement down a notch or two. If Linus from the Peanuts Gang can get it so can we.
Do you have a strategy for Christmas gift giving? I would love to hear about it. Share it in the comments below.
If you would like to read about the Greatest Gift Ever click here.
Randy Harp 